My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
