so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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