i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
