I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
