she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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