once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
