The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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