I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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