i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
