I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
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I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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