and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
