This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have tasted many bathrooms
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
