my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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