i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
