ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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