Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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