marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I checked into jail on foursquare
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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