hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize