You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize