"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They took my balls.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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