We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
