I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
