your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
