She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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