Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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