a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she told me i tasted like america
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
