Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
