dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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