he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
