If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
