I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
