the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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