Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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