My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
