Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
