Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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