Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize