There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize