Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(682): View more from Texas

nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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(907): View more from Alaska

scale of 1-10 how well do I give head

(1-907): View more from Alaska

5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.

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(205): View more from Alabama

One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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(913): View more from Kansas

We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

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(937): View more from Ohio

[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.

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