i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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