I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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