My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
where are my pants?
in the oven.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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