the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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