my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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