If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
