He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
