but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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