You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
