That's when you crack a 10am beer
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
