WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
