You work out of a Hotel?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
