the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
