Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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