i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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