I heard we made out
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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