the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
