Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize