Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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